To Be Healed Or Not To Be Healed ~ That is the Question
Holistic healing modalities are being introduced more and more into mainstream society, but often I find that the space one comes from in participating in these various healing modalities can often be obscured… and this goes for the facilitator as well as the client.
I am a facilitator of several different techniques including Family Constellation, Awakening Through Releasing, Conscious Creation and Accessing BARS to name a few. And below are some of the things that I learned while facilitating these modalities to individuals and groups alike.
Do you have a BELIEF that healing is needed?
This question addresses both the facilitator and the client. Often times the reason why a client seeks out a facilitator in the first place is from the belief that there is something wrong with them, there is something that they would like to change, or something that they would like to heal. An example being that there is a relationship they want to fix or they feel their finances aren’t up to par or they want to take their business to the next level, or even cancer or disease. And often it is through looking at these things as a problem in the first place that the client creates more of a problem for themselves.
They maybe unintentionally creating more resistance in their lives and seek out a facilitator to help or heal them. But this is already a difficult space to heal from because the client is focused firmly in the belief that something is wrong and they have to change it. A more supportive space to begin the process of self-discovery with a facilitator would look like, “I am experiencing this and this in my Life, and I would like to understand it deeper and see what is coming up for me in these areas of Life.” This is a more objective view that seeks understanding instead of change. After all, the more we have an attachment to the idea of changing our Life, this attachment can actually create more stress in our lives unless we have the ability to acknowledge our want without clinging to a desire.
In other words, when we tie our happiness to change (this is what attachment look likes), when we tie our happiness to making more money, being more confident and sexy or earning more in our business, we do several things:
1) we are no longer available for joy (which is only available in the NOW moment anyways)
2) we are planted in an idea that creates stress
3) we cut ourselves off from our point of creation which is always routed in being grounded.
In other words, it is one thing to want change but not NEED it. And it is another thing to convince ourselves that we NEED change and this will bring us happiness. This thought itself creates stress because we believe that there is something wrong with us.
This is the difference between NEEDING TO BE HEALED versus SEEKING UNDERSTANDING
Needing to be healed is a standpoint that creates stress while seeking understanding is a standpoint that is more open. Needing to be healed is an idea that contracts us while seeking understanding expands us.
Some facilitators also do the same thing: they look upon the client as needing to be healed or fixed in some way. They may even enter the session with their client thinking, “I really want to help this person.” But in the words of Byron Katie, “Is that true? Is that absolutely true? Does this belief create peace or stress?”
In the end, it is our IDEAS of how things should be that often keeps us further from peace; our natural way of existence. So when a client approaches a facilitator with the thought, “I need to be fixed” that is something to look at in the session….or, if the client is looking to the facilitator to “fix” them, I believe that the facilitator either has to bring this to their clients’ attention (that they are looking outside of themselves for answers instead of seeking a deeper understanding) or decide to end or not even begin the client-relationship at all. There are many reasons for this which I will have to get into in another article… but one of the main reasons is that the client might be looking to be ‘saved’ and this creates a difficult relationship with the facilitator. It is an emotional game that usually doesn’t end well.
And if the facilitator looks upon the client as needing help from them, this is something to look at as well. Already the dynamics are off a little bit because the facilitator has made themselves BIGGER than their client. This creates an imbalance because the facilitator’s job is to take an objective view of whatever or whoever presents themselves. This includes acknowledging the client as a whole and complete being unto themselves despite what may be showing up for them in their lives. Our role as a facilitator is to create a space for the client to gain a deeper understanding of themselves…that is it. We ask questions, we prompt the client to look more deeply inside to see where this stress or discomfort is coming from, and we create a space for them to realize what is coming up for them.
In summary, even needing to be healed can be an obstacle on the road to self-discovery because it is an idea that creates more stress, it is an idea that can create addiction (to the technique or to the facilitator) if not watched, and it is an idea that places our happiness somewhere in the future instead of making us available for joy now. So as a facilitator, practice being objective and as seeing the client whole and complete as they are instead of as a person with an issue that needs to be rectified. And as a client, seek understanding of the issue instead of seeking to merely get rid of it. After all, what you resist persists!
Because Life is Effortless,